This was a somewhat depressing question because I know my ultimate purpose is to glorify God (nothing depressing about that) and to one day live forever with him. This, of course, should be exciting, but not on its own. I cannot experience a fulfilling life here if I am only looking towards my future hope. I know it is in death that we truly live, but can't we die without dying and live while we're living?
Somehow, there must be a death involved, I thought. But what kind of death? I don't think I need to actually die...
And that is where I was stuck. I could not figure it out. So I moped some more and became angry again, then tried to forget about it.
A few hours later, it hit me. Why am I feeling so sorry for myself? Why do I take some sort of pride in being weak and helpless? That is what I must die to. My feelings of inferiority, of weakness, of pity. How could I hope to be confident in the Lord when I had no confidence in myself? Confidence is not to be mistaken with pride. It is much closer to trust - trust that you can achieve God's purposes in your life as long as you commit to following him, trust that no matter what happens, God will keep you standing, and trust that what you do in this life can have a profound impact on the next.
