Behind the Screen

I'm easy to read. When I'm mad, happy, whatever, people know. I've tried to hide it many times but I always fail. Or at least that's how it may seem. But I sometimes wonder: am I really showing my true emotions. I know how I feel but I also know how I should feel, how a "normal" person would feel in the same situation. I've come to realize these don't always match up. I notice this the most with movies. There are parts that are supposed to be so sad and all the other viewers are crying but I find myself smiling or even laughing. I don't think this is because I'm a heartless jerk. I understand the sorrow of the situation but for some reason I see a joyful part of it and take hold of that feeling instead. But that is in movies, you might say. True, it is just a movie. But I think sometimes movies can give us the most accurate pictures of our character. The viewer can look at a situation completely objectively. And besides, are movies so much different from real life? You might say in life people don't become superheroes or there are no centaurs or talking bees but isn't the story still the same. If you place a movie in the real world - change all the made up people and places to real ones - doesn't it still work? That is what makes movies so interesting. In some part of us we can relate. So why shouldn't movies bring out our true feelings? Or give us a more accurate picture of who we are than our own lives can?

So lets go back to the beginning. Are the emotions I'm showing outwardly really what I'm thinking on the inside? Sometimes, yes, I'm sure but I don't think always. Some expressions are impossible to control and some facial movements associated with feelings so subtle that we can't detect them, much less change them. But others we know very well. And just as we use our brains to filter our words (some of us do, anyway), we can also use our minds as a screen over our hearts.