What I Want to Hear

Sometimes I feel so normal, so average, so unnecessary. People tell me they love me but couldn't they love someone else just as easily? I want to know that they love me because I'm me, not because they're supposed to love everyone. Maybe it's a bit selfish of me to want such exclusive love, but I want it anyway. It's one thing to say I love you but those words can have so many meanings. It can be I love you because Christ loves you or I have to love you or it can be I love you because I choose to, because you matter to me and are special to me and no one else in the world could replace you in my life. That's the kind of love I want people to have for me. I want to be irreplaceable and special.
This morning I was thinking of what I most wanted someone to say to me and it reflected this kind of love. I want someone to tell me that they share something special with me, a different kind of love. I want to hear that I'm unique and vital in someone's life. A simple "I love you" will not suffice. I want to hear the love in the way they say those words. I want to know by the tone of voice not only do they love me but their life wouldn't be the same without me and they need me.
I wondered why, of all things, this is what I wanted to hear more than anything else. I think it has a lot to do with the ways I've been able to use my talents in the past. I'm pretty good at a lot of things but not the best at anything. I play the flute but I'm not amazing at it. I write but I'm no novelist. I bake but I'm not a professional pastry chef. I sew but I can't put together a ball gown. I'm intelligent but I'm not a valedictorian. Because of this I've felt important (I do have a role to play) but not necessary (I wouldn't really be missed). This is why I want to know that I'm needed. That I'm the only one who could possibly fill that role.
I've read that I'm irreplaceable and important. People have said it. I know this in my mind. But I'm still waiting on the day when someone tells me this and it finally reaches my heart. Because until I believe this in my heart, I can't hope to live like it is true.